Lead don't "Lean"

Ok so I was hoping this whole "Lean In" business would just blow over and that Sheryl Sandberg would find her way back to the Facebook campus and actually focus on her job, but alas...

I hesitated writing about my feelings related to this topic 1) because I have some pretty strong feelings and 2) because I hate the idea that I would be accused of not supporting other women (which we are often accused of, but which in reality is a total cop out - that is a subject for another time).

Let's start with the superficial: Lean In is about the worst phrase I can think of to describe what women need to do to become successful. It makes it sound like it's easy to get a seat at the table, when in truth if you aren't doing the things that "Lean In" is meant to imply, like being engaged, you probably haven't even made it into the hallway outside the room where the people making the decisions are meeting.

Just so you don't think I am totally anti this whole idea, I absolutely agree that women can get in their own way.  There is some sort of weird inbred societal complex that we all end up with that some how we have less of a right or at least more anxiety around being on an equal playing field with out male counterparts. And IT'S CRAZY! Some women deal with it better than others, but many if not all successful women I have spoken to have felt that at some point. But they got over it and realized they are just as smart and have every right to sit at the table and voice their opinion - which is again where I find Ms. Sandberg's case fairly irritating. I have heard her time and time again describe how she still has that kind of anxiety and worry about whether she belongs. Which leads me very nicely to my next point which is that she should not be writing this book right now. I'm not saying it's not a valuable conversation (perhaps framed differently) but I am saying she is not a good advocate for it. She has gotten extraordinary opportunities in her life and parlayed each into something bigger and better but I still don't know what she's done and to be honest I am not terribly inspired by the effectiveness of a woman who is still uncertain about her capabilities. I want to hear from a woman who has been uncertain and has not just been successful in spite of it but has overcome it. I want to hear from a woman who takes risks. I want to hear from a woman who doesn't tell me how to feel, but shows me how to lead.